Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Skates for girl giants
I love all things roller, including this pair-o-skates from Preen. They look like Victorian torture devices or zombie bandages, don't you think? Post-modern and pretty, but pants on the rink. But I love how roller skates are so covetable that people would want them just because they like roller skates, not because they can roller skate.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Skating clock-wise
The other night at practice we started doing some endurance skating in the wrong direction. Not because we forgot which direction to skate, although that can happen, but just in case there are skaters with back troubles, or skaters who have a right leg that is disproportionately larger than the left one, which could also happen, I'm sure. You'll be a much stronger skater if you can turn in both directions, or do t-stops with either foot. If you're using your whole body equally you'll have lots more options for blocking, getting out of the pack's way, and picking up speed.
Labels:
avoiding blocks,
endurance,
stepping,
technique
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Music video - Don't let it get you down - Miriam Clancy
Well, I might as well post this vid too, since this week it's all about me and my fame. I'm in there somewhere, roller skating around. This was shot last year with some of the Pirate City Rollers at Skateland. It's not really a roller disco kind of song, but I love a bit of gratuitous skating anyway.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Famouser and famouser
Here's the Pirate City Rollers on TV3's Sunrise this morning. Bright and early and all done WITHOUT coffee! Amazing.
Labels:
auckland city mission,
pirate city rollers,
trade me,
tv
Pirate City Rollers - Trade Me for Auckland City Mission
Oh my! Check out these hotties! Particularly the redhead third from the right. Whatever they're selling, you should buy it. Right now. Because you love roller derby, that's why.
Labels:
auckland city mission,
pirate city rollers,
trade me
Friday, June 27, 2008
Book review #2 'Roller Derby to RollerJam: the authorized story of an unauthorized sport' by Keith Coppage
This dude loves RollerJam. That's the 80's version of roller derby when girls AND guys all went crazy for green bike shorts, inline skates and baaaad pro wrestling moves. If ya like that sort of thing then this book has EVERYTHING about derby history and yukky Rollerjam, but it was written before the revival of derby as we know it. So, yeah nah.
Good drills with bad names
So we all know the minimum requirements tell us that Derby Girls need to be able to hit and take a hit, as well as be able to look right, left and all that while skating. I’ve come up with a few super simple drills to practice this.
First drill is the Super 3-Way Blocking Triangle of Death. Ok, I just now made that name up but it sounds better than “3 girls blocking”. See, how boring is that name? Anyway, split your girls up into teams of 3. Give them some room to spread out with their team on the track, because it can get messy. Have each team of 3 girls skate together shoulder to shoulder in a nice little line. The girl in the middle will be receiving the shoulder checks. Her only job is to defend. Make sure to cover proper stance, staying low, etc before hand.
Ok, now the girls on the outside will be executing shoulder checks on our target girl in the center. I like to have girls on either side because it will give them a feel for shoulder checking from both sides. The girl in the middle will be getting the crap kicked out of her, but she will learn to take those hits. After a minute, I blow the whistle, and another of the 3 girls takes the place in the middle. Keep switching up the middle girl at 1 minute intervals. I do this drill from anywhere from 6-8 minutes, depending how much of an asshole I want to be.
This next one is very simple. I expect other teams do this, but I’ve never seen it written down so here you go. I call this the Booty Blocking Cube of Pain. Ok, I don’t really call it that. Hell, it has nothing to do with cubes at all. But I like cubes. Actually this is a partner drill. Have your girl grab a partner… or assign one if, like our team, it takes 2 hours to figure out who is going to be partners with whom. Ok, so the object of this is to work on looking over your shoulders and staying in front of your opponent utilizing speed and agility. While skating quickly around the track, one Girl 1 will block, while the Girl 2 will attempt to skate past her. Girl 1 will quickly move back and forth to stay square in front of Girl 2. Emphasize watching for quick moves and being aware of what direction the opponent is going to move. Once Girl 2 has passed Girl 1, they switch up, and Girl 1 now begins to try and skate past Girl 2, and so on. I run this drill for a good 6-8 minutes, or longer.
This next one is The Endless Jammer Drill I choose to call it the Jammer Blocking Rhombus of Discomfort which is way catchier. Imagine it on a t-shirt and tell me that isn’t catch-phrase gold. Anyways, this one is a pack drill. Grab about 5-6 girls and put them in a pack. Now grab another 5-6 girls and line them up about 20 ft from the pack, in a line, one behind the other, these will be the “jammers” for this drill. The pack will begin skating at regular pack speed. The line of jammers will skate behind maintaining their distance. At the whistle, the first in the line of jammers will maker her way to the pack and attempt to get through. The pack needs to block the hell out of her, emphasize strong shoulder checks, booty blocking, building walls, etc and so forth. Once the Jammer is knocked down, or out of bounds, immediately blow the whistle and the next girl in the line of jammers will make her way to the pack. The idea is to not give the pack time to rest, constantly sending jammer after jammer into them. Now once a jammer is knocked out of bounds, knocked down, or actually gets through the pack, she will return to the end of the jammer line and prepare to go in again. I like to let all the jammers try and make their way through about twice before calling the drill and changing out the pack and jammer line. It's good times.
I also highly recommend purchasing a blocking pad (the kind used in football, karate, Extreme Hungarian Fish Slapping, etc) and practicing shoulder checks. While holding the pad you can get a feel for what that particular girl will need to work on to maximize her strength.
Thanks to D. Dan Devious
Panama City Roller Derby
Coach/MC/Ambassador of Goodwill/Dancing Machine
First drill is the Super 3-Way Blocking Triangle of Death. Ok, I just now made that name up but it sounds better than “3 girls blocking”. See, how boring is that name? Anyway, split your girls up into teams of 3. Give them some room to spread out with their team on the track, because it can get messy. Have each team of 3 girls skate together shoulder to shoulder in a nice little line. The girl in the middle will be receiving the shoulder checks. Her only job is to defend. Make sure to cover proper stance, staying low, etc before hand.
Ok, now the girls on the outside will be executing shoulder checks on our target girl in the center. I like to have girls on either side because it will give them a feel for shoulder checking from both sides. The girl in the middle will be getting the crap kicked out of her, but she will learn to take those hits. After a minute, I blow the whistle, and another of the 3 girls takes the place in the middle. Keep switching up the middle girl at 1 minute intervals. I do this drill from anywhere from 6-8 minutes, depending how much of an asshole I want to be.
This next one is very simple. I expect other teams do this, but I’ve never seen it written down so here you go. I call this the Booty Blocking Cube of Pain. Ok, I don’t really call it that. Hell, it has nothing to do with cubes at all. But I like cubes. Actually this is a partner drill. Have your girl grab a partner… or assign one if, like our team, it takes 2 hours to figure out who is going to be partners with whom. Ok, so the object of this is to work on looking over your shoulders and staying in front of your opponent utilizing speed and agility. While skating quickly around the track, one Girl 1 will block, while the Girl 2 will attempt to skate past her. Girl 1 will quickly move back and forth to stay square in front of Girl 2. Emphasize watching for quick moves and being aware of what direction the opponent is going to move. Once Girl 2 has passed Girl 1, they switch up, and Girl 1 now begins to try and skate past Girl 2, and so on. I run this drill for a good 6-8 minutes, or longer.
This next one is The Endless Jammer Drill I choose to call it the Jammer Blocking Rhombus of Discomfort which is way catchier. Imagine it on a t-shirt and tell me that isn’t catch-phrase gold. Anyways, this one is a pack drill. Grab about 5-6 girls and put them in a pack. Now grab another 5-6 girls and line them up about 20 ft from the pack, in a line, one behind the other, these will be the “jammers” for this drill. The pack will begin skating at regular pack speed. The line of jammers will skate behind maintaining their distance. At the whistle, the first in the line of jammers will maker her way to the pack and attempt to get through. The pack needs to block the hell out of her, emphasize strong shoulder checks, booty blocking, building walls, etc and so forth. Once the Jammer is knocked down, or out of bounds, immediately blow the whistle and the next girl in the line of jammers will make her way to the pack. The idea is to not give the pack time to rest, constantly sending jammer after jammer into them. Now once a jammer is knocked out of bounds, knocked down, or actually gets through the pack, she will return to the end of the jammer line and prepare to go in again. I like to let all the jammers try and make their way through about twice before calling the drill and changing out the pack and jammer line. It's good times.
I also highly recommend purchasing a blocking pad (the kind used in football, karate, Extreme Hungarian Fish Slapping, etc) and practicing shoulder checks. While holding the pad you can get a feel for what that particular girl will need to work on to maximize her strength.
Thanks to D. Dan Devious
Panama City Roller Derby
Coach/MC/Ambassador of Goodwill/Dancing Machine
Tips, skills and drills
Breakaway: This is a simple yet important exercise.
I. The group of skaters must be 5-striding in a line at a relatively intermediate speed
II. The leader (trainer) of the pace line blows a whistle or signals, and the lead person break’s away. Sometimes the skater at the rear of the line breaks away
III. Then, that lead skater laps the entire field and returns to the rear of the pack. This skater paces at a fast pace, with style, as if racing or Jamming.
This simulates a Jam. It allows the person on the breakaway to develop their speed, 5-stride and style. It allows the others to simulate a pack - without blocking.
Breakaway and LOOK backwards: Professional skaters can direct their consciousness to the other skaters and the audience, amateur skaters are focused on their feet, wheels and the ground directly in front of them. To begin to develop awareness beyond your own feet, practice the above breakaway exercise BUT as the lead skater speeds around, watch the pack of skaters & NOT look at where you are going.
Likewise, as the lead skater paces around the field, the rest of the (pack) skaters keep their eyes on that skater.
Duck walk exercise: This is a powerful exercise! Start with you feet at about a 45 degree angle at a stand still.
Keeping your feet at that angle you now begin to run. Move those legs fast, chop, chop, chop. Pick up speed as fast as you can from the dead stop position.
Run from one end of the rink or skating surface to the other. After a short rest repeat this until you can't go any more. This exercise will enable you to build the proper muscles and help you get restarted faster than anything else. Repositioning yourself in a game, as a Jammer or fallen skater is important. This is the drill to learn that skill!
Track walking exercise: A skater can walk up and down each square foot of the track (flat or banked track) to get accustomed to the banks, floor and balancing on skates. They can crossover walk up and down the banks trying to keep their wheels from rolling. This teaches great dexterity in their feet.
A professional skaters feet need to be so familiar with those banks, trucks and wheels that they do not think about what their feet are doing.
Loosened front trucks for quad skates - loosen those front trucks! Real loose! This will help a skaters' maneuverability on the banks.
Because part of this exercise is a balancing skill, the exercise can be done on a flat surface as well as on the banked track.
Squat exercise: Skaters need flexibility in their body movements so keeping limber and doing exercise is good for training. While a skater moves at each part of the track they can squat, then stand upright. Squat and stand, and after a while improve their balance and style as they develop their squats.
This exercise can be done on a flat track as well as the banked track. You can practice this at home or on any surface at any time.
Zigzag exercises: Roller derby requires skaters to do much more than skating around in a circle. The game is much more than speeding forward, skaters need to learn to move sideways, up a bank and then down it. The movement is a lateral move, rather than a rolling forward movement. These moves need to be developed so that a skater can withstand the body contact, blocking moves and scoring strategies in a game. There are many exercises that skaters can do on their own or with others to move up a bank, then down. After time, a skater can add to this rolling movement a small jump so that there is air between a foot and the track or floor to help the skater move up or down a bank quicker.
The zigzag motion is accompanied by the skaters body movements to develop squatting and extending their body, as if defensively blocking.
Zigzag and other footwork can be done on flat surfaces. Skaters with dance backgrounds will find this part of roller derby training easy and natural. Skaters who just skated inline outdoors will find this type of skating very challenging. Many say this is why inline skates are not the best for roller derby styles competition. Defensive skaters are experts at covering the track laterally.
Few skaters become good defensive skaters. This exercise will help.
Jump exercise: Skaters need to become used to having air between the floor or track and their skates. They need to be able to jump, take their skates off the rolling surface and then land and continue rolling.
The first time a skater jumps, they often loose their footing and crash to the floor once their skates hit the rolling surface again.
As a warm up, a skater can jump over and over again and again. They can jump as many times as possible as they simply roll around the track or floor warming up.
Eventually, these jumps can be incorporated into team skills.
You can jump at home while wearing your skates and cleaning the house! Most of the professional's have worn skates at home at one time in their career or another to help teach them important skills.
This exercise can be done on any surface. It should be done as often as possible. It will teach incredible agility.
Obstacle jumping exercise: The game of roller derby holds many unexpected situations where skaters need to think on their feet. One of the most common obstacles is a fallen skater who goes down unexpectedly in front of, or at another skater's side. A downed skater can cause injuries to other skaters.
Cones, chairs or other obstacles can be tossed onto the track or floor by a trainer. The obstacles suddenly appear in the way of unexpected skaters. The skaters, who might be in a pack formation, must learn to react to the unexpected obstacle and avoid hitting it, falling or taking other skaters down.
Sit-out and get up: It's obvious that skater's in a game can be knocked down or take a tumble; therefore a skater must learn to fall. Starting by simply rolling forward on your skates and then sit down is one way to begin to develop the falling skills needed for a game. When a skater sits down, they should use their butt and not their hands to support their sit out.
Another rule is not to go down on the knees to break the fall, but use the butt. Put those butt pads in your shorts! After a skater is down, they need to stand up and begin or continue to roll and stride again - QUICKLY - with chop chop little steps to regain speed.
This all sounds easier than what it is. Because the track is designed with varying angles every foot or so, a skater will find their ability to get up different at each few feet of the track. For instance, if a skater falls at the highest part of the bank, near the kick rail, and try to get up; the incline will be greatest to pull them down into the infield as they try to roll again. They must learn to overcome the natural tendency to roll down the bank as they pick up speed.
If a skater falls near the lowest part of the high bank, near the infield, then they must get up and quickly pick up speed. The tendency will be to fight the banks to get up high and roll smoothly again. Skaters look very awkward and unprofessional when they fall in these areas of the track. Even the best skaters stumble and wobble as they try to fight the bank and pick up speed again.
On a flat track: Taking a sit out on a flat track is not the best way to learn to fall and get up quickly. Instead practice slide-outs or one or two knee stops and baseball slide stops.
On a flat track: A skaters skidding out on their knee(s), should practice getting erect and falling back into stride again. It's important to stay in the pack, and not get scored upon.
Falls: Sit outs, knee and baseball slide outs, when practiced over and over will become part of the skaters natural body movements. A skater may, add their own style to the move that fits their body type. Once skaters begin to understand how their body works as they learn to sit-out and get up; they need to develop their falls beyond the basic sit-out.
Falls are more than just sitting down or sliding on a knee. They also need to be able to learn how to balance themselves as a 200 lb skater comes around and blocks their body to the track. Which is fine during a training period, but when in a game, skaters can be knocked down without any warning and you will feel your body going down.
Be sure to keep the hands away from trying to break the fall. That's how broken, cracked and hurt wrists and arms occur, a common injury in derby.
Skater must become aware of all the other skaters on the track and reposition themselves appropriately to the other skaters. You don't want to trip someone do you?
Body contact: The game of roller derby is one of body contact.
Skaters must learn to touch and be touched as they roll with one another. This contact is not striking one another with jabbing elbows. Rather is it simply using the elbows to reach out, hook and push off one another. It actually is a graceful move of taking another skaters momentum.
This is not trying to knock them down, but is a exercise that teaches the balance and body movements to become a great blocker.
Roller derby is NOT about trying to really hurt or trip someone. If you injure another skater, and they end up on disability, how do you think you'd feel?
SECRET LESSONS CONDITIONING!
BRAIN DEAD: While on the track skaters need to fall over and over again and again.
The falls will hurt, but by getting up right away after the fall and forcing the body to go back into a stride the brain will become conditioned to avoid thinking of any pain.
This is great conditioning and is exhausting. A skater should practice this about three times a week. Doing more each time than they were able to do the day before.
Skaters need to be in condition. The sport is very rough on the cardio-vascular system, leg muscles and the body. It's important that skaters take their effort seriously and get their body into tip-top condition. All those muscles must be conditioned.
RUNNING: Almost all skaters use running and dancing exercises to help improve their leg muscle coordination and endurance. Remember, nothing conditions the body for skating as much as putting the skates on and skating!
WEIGHTS: Today's athletes augment their skate training with weight training. Most skaters do not weight train to build mass, but to strengthen and condition their muscles. Exercises such as squats and torso and upper arm workouts seem to improve skaters overall abilities greatly.
Many skaters wear ankle weights through out the day. This helps their legs adapt to the heavy skates on their feet so they can pick their skates up and put them down FAST while in competition.
Most importantly, weight training keeps a skater fit and helps to limit the number of sprains, twisted muscles and injuries they may suffer.
LESSON-THINK ON YOUR SKATES!
AWARENESS: New skaters focus on their feet and how their body is out of balance. New skaters generally only look in front of them and their eyes prepare their mind for what their feet or skate are about to encounter. This is a stage of mental awareness that all skaters go through. It is an awareness that occupies almost all of a new skaters brain activity. This means a new skater cannot really think about the game. Their brain cannot worry about where they are, where an opponent is, or what the play is because their mind is preoccupied. At this stage, a skater is simply mentally focused on their skating and balance. There is no ability to move their mental thoughts or awareness to any other thought patterns.
To look professional, skaters need to break this amateur focus on ones feet and the road in front of them!
BREAKING THE MENTAL FOCUS: Skaters need to skate in order to start to break this intense focus on their wheels, skates and feet. Skaters need to skate a lot and do every imaginable thing in order to break their awareness from the simple minded focus of balance and wheels.
Sounds simple. SKATE! Then skaters need to learn to look around and behind them. Everything happens behind you in a roller derby game. A skater who cannot learn to glance behind them, and get a picture of the skaters moves and plays that are forming behind them, just is not ready for the actual game.
BE COMFORTABLE ON YOUR SKATES: Professional skaters are so comfortable on skates that they do not think about their feet or balance. This means that they can use their mental awareness to perform other things. How do you become comfortable on your skates?
It's simple you just skate as often as possible, skate in any rink, club or activity that helps you to become comfortable. Put your skates on at home & putter around in the driveway.
SKATE!
Now that you have a full plate of exercises it's up to you to get going and keep the sport growing onto its new approach towards speed and professionalism.
These are JUST skating skills. There are many documented offensive and defensive plays in the game. Each of these plays, takes practice.
Once you've accomplished the basics, you can move on to the excitement of the team strategies involved in the game.
Learn the strategies that make the fans cheer and return for more!
I. The group of skaters must be 5-striding in a line at a relatively intermediate speed
II. The leader (trainer) of the pace line blows a whistle or signals, and the lead person break’s away. Sometimes the skater at the rear of the line breaks away
III. Then, that lead skater laps the entire field and returns to the rear of the pack. This skater paces at a fast pace, with style, as if racing or Jamming.
This simulates a Jam. It allows the person on the breakaway to develop their speed, 5-stride and style. It allows the others to simulate a pack - without blocking.
Breakaway and LOOK backwards: Professional skaters can direct their consciousness to the other skaters and the audience, amateur skaters are focused on their feet, wheels and the ground directly in front of them. To begin to develop awareness beyond your own feet, practice the above breakaway exercise BUT as the lead skater speeds around, watch the pack of skaters & NOT look at where you are going.
Likewise, as the lead skater paces around the field, the rest of the (pack) skaters keep their eyes on that skater.
Duck walk exercise: This is a powerful exercise! Start with you feet at about a 45 degree angle at a stand still.
Keeping your feet at that angle you now begin to run. Move those legs fast, chop, chop, chop. Pick up speed as fast as you can from the dead stop position.
Run from one end of the rink or skating surface to the other. After a short rest repeat this until you can't go any more. This exercise will enable you to build the proper muscles and help you get restarted faster than anything else. Repositioning yourself in a game, as a Jammer or fallen skater is important. This is the drill to learn that skill!
Track walking exercise: A skater can walk up and down each square foot of the track (flat or banked track) to get accustomed to the banks, floor and balancing on skates. They can crossover walk up and down the banks trying to keep their wheels from rolling. This teaches great dexterity in their feet.
A professional skaters feet need to be so familiar with those banks, trucks and wheels that they do not think about what their feet are doing.
Loosened front trucks for quad skates - loosen those front trucks! Real loose! This will help a skaters' maneuverability on the banks.
Because part of this exercise is a balancing skill, the exercise can be done on a flat surface as well as on the banked track.
Squat exercise: Skaters need flexibility in their body movements so keeping limber and doing exercise is good for training. While a skater moves at each part of the track they can squat, then stand upright. Squat and stand, and after a while improve their balance and style as they develop their squats.
This exercise can be done on a flat track as well as the banked track. You can practice this at home or on any surface at any time.
Zigzag exercises: Roller derby requires skaters to do much more than skating around in a circle. The game is much more than speeding forward, skaters need to learn to move sideways, up a bank and then down it. The movement is a lateral move, rather than a rolling forward movement. These moves need to be developed so that a skater can withstand the body contact, blocking moves and scoring strategies in a game. There are many exercises that skaters can do on their own or with others to move up a bank, then down. After time, a skater can add to this rolling movement a small jump so that there is air between a foot and the track or floor to help the skater move up or down a bank quicker.
The zigzag motion is accompanied by the skaters body movements to develop squatting and extending their body, as if defensively blocking.
Zigzag and other footwork can be done on flat surfaces. Skaters with dance backgrounds will find this part of roller derby training easy and natural. Skaters who just skated inline outdoors will find this type of skating very challenging. Many say this is why inline skates are not the best for roller derby styles competition. Defensive skaters are experts at covering the track laterally.
Few skaters become good defensive skaters. This exercise will help.
Jump exercise: Skaters need to become used to having air between the floor or track and their skates. They need to be able to jump, take their skates off the rolling surface and then land and continue rolling.
The first time a skater jumps, they often loose their footing and crash to the floor once their skates hit the rolling surface again.
As a warm up, a skater can jump over and over again and again. They can jump as many times as possible as they simply roll around the track or floor warming up.
Eventually, these jumps can be incorporated into team skills.
You can jump at home while wearing your skates and cleaning the house! Most of the professional's have worn skates at home at one time in their career or another to help teach them important skills.
This exercise can be done on any surface. It should be done as often as possible. It will teach incredible agility.
Obstacle jumping exercise: The game of roller derby holds many unexpected situations where skaters need to think on their feet. One of the most common obstacles is a fallen skater who goes down unexpectedly in front of, or at another skater's side. A downed skater can cause injuries to other skaters.
Cones, chairs or other obstacles can be tossed onto the track or floor by a trainer. The obstacles suddenly appear in the way of unexpected skaters. The skaters, who might be in a pack formation, must learn to react to the unexpected obstacle and avoid hitting it, falling or taking other skaters down.
Sit-out and get up: It's obvious that skater's in a game can be knocked down or take a tumble; therefore a skater must learn to fall. Starting by simply rolling forward on your skates and then sit down is one way to begin to develop the falling skills needed for a game. When a skater sits down, they should use their butt and not their hands to support their sit out.
Another rule is not to go down on the knees to break the fall, but use the butt. Put those butt pads in your shorts! After a skater is down, they need to stand up and begin or continue to roll and stride again - QUICKLY - with chop chop little steps to regain speed.
This all sounds easier than what it is. Because the track is designed with varying angles every foot or so, a skater will find their ability to get up different at each few feet of the track. For instance, if a skater falls at the highest part of the bank, near the kick rail, and try to get up; the incline will be greatest to pull them down into the infield as they try to roll again. They must learn to overcome the natural tendency to roll down the bank as they pick up speed.
If a skater falls near the lowest part of the high bank, near the infield, then they must get up and quickly pick up speed. The tendency will be to fight the banks to get up high and roll smoothly again. Skaters look very awkward and unprofessional when they fall in these areas of the track. Even the best skaters stumble and wobble as they try to fight the bank and pick up speed again.
On a flat track: Taking a sit out on a flat track is not the best way to learn to fall and get up quickly. Instead practice slide-outs or one or two knee stops and baseball slide stops.
On a flat track: A skaters skidding out on their knee(s), should practice getting erect and falling back into stride again. It's important to stay in the pack, and not get scored upon.
Falls: Sit outs, knee and baseball slide outs, when practiced over and over will become part of the skaters natural body movements. A skater may, add their own style to the move that fits their body type. Once skaters begin to understand how their body works as they learn to sit-out and get up; they need to develop their falls beyond the basic sit-out.
Falls are more than just sitting down or sliding on a knee. They also need to be able to learn how to balance themselves as a 200 lb skater comes around and blocks their body to the track. Which is fine during a training period, but when in a game, skaters can be knocked down without any warning and you will feel your body going down.
Be sure to keep the hands away from trying to break the fall. That's how broken, cracked and hurt wrists and arms occur, a common injury in derby.
Skater must become aware of all the other skaters on the track and reposition themselves appropriately to the other skaters. You don't want to trip someone do you?
Body contact: The game of roller derby is one of body contact.
Skaters must learn to touch and be touched as they roll with one another. This contact is not striking one another with jabbing elbows. Rather is it simply using the elbows to reach out, hook and push off one another. It actually is a graceful move of taking another skaters momentum.
This is not trying to knock them down, but is a exercise that teaches the balance and body movements to become a great blocker.
Roller derby is NOT about trying to really hurt or trip someone. If you injure another skater, and they end up on disability, how do you think you'd feel?
SECRET LESSONS CONDITIONING!
BRAIN DEAD: While on the track skaters need to fall over and over again and again.
The falls will hurt, but by getting up right away after the fall and forcing the body to go back into a stride the brain will become conditioned to avoid thinking of any pain.
This is great conditioning and is exhausting. A skater should practice this about three times a week. Doing more each time than they were able to do the day before.
Skaters need to be in condition. The sport is very rough on the cardio-vascular system, leg muscles and the body. It's important that skaters take their effort seriously and get their body into tip-top condition. All those muscles must be conditioned.
RUNNING: Almost all skaters use running and dancing exercises to help improve their leg muscle coordination and endurance. Remember, nothing conditions the body for skating as much as putting the skates on and skating!
WEIGHTS: Today's athletes augment their skate training with weight training. Most skaters do not weight train to build mass, but to strengthen and condition their muscles. Exercises such as squats and torso and upper arm workouts seem to improve skaters overall abilities greatly.
Many skaters wear ankle weights through out the day. This helps their legs adapt to the heavy skates on their feet so they can pick their skates up and put them down FAST while in competition.
Most importantly, weight training keeps a skater fit and helps to limit the number of sprains, twisted muscles and injuries they may suffer.
LESSON-THINK ON YOUR SKATES!
AWARENESS: New skaters focus on their feet and how their body is out of balance. New skaters generally only look in front of them and their eyes prepare their mind for what their feet or skate are about to encounter. This is a stage of mental awareness that all skaters go through. It is an awareness that occupies almost all of a new skaters brain activity. This means a new skater cannot really think about the game. Their brain cannot worry about where they are, where an opponent is, or what the play is because their mind is preoccupied. At this stage, a skater is simply mentally focused on their skating and balance. There is no ability to move their mental thoughts or awareness to any other thought patterns.
To look professional, skaters need to break this amateur focus on ones feet and the road in front of them!
BREAKING THE MENTAL FOCUS: Skaters need to skate in order to start to break this intense focus on their wheels, skates and feet. Skaters need to skate a lot and do every imaginable thing in order to break their awareness from the simple minded focus of balance and wheels.
Sounds simple. SKATE! Then skaters need to learn to look around and behind them. Everything happens behind you in a roller derby game. A skater who cannot learn to glance behind them, and get a picture of the skaters moves and plays that are forming behind them, just is not ready for the actual game.
BE COMFORTABLE ON YOUR SKATES: Professional skaters are so comfortable on skates that they do not think about their feet or balance. This means that they can use their mental awareness to perform other things. How do you become comfortable on your skates?
It's simple you just skate as often as possible, skate in any rink, club or activity that helps you to become comfortable. Put your skates on at home & putter around in the driveway.
SKATE!
Now that you have a full plate of exercises it's up to you to get going and keep the sport growing onto its new approach towards speed and professionalism.
These are JUST skating skills. There are many documented offensive and defensive plays in the game. Each of these plays, takes practice.
Once you've accomplished the basics, you can move on to the excitement of the team strategies involved in the game.
Learn the strategies that make the fans cheer and return for more!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Derringer’s Notes
Points to think about:
* Think about your skating form
* Get lower on corners
* Push with both feet on crossovers
* Use optimal skate path when possible
* Smaller arm swings
* Focus on what your body is doing
* Important to remember to look behind more
* More communicating needed between players
* Protect your jammer from your opposing blockers especially B3
* Diagonal working relationship with team members
* At times you may have to leave your blocking position for walls etc
* Skater behind generally communicates to the skater(s) ahead
* Skater behind is responsible for opposite diagonal position
* Work on Fast Starts
* Work on Blocking
* Remember you have to play Offence & Defence at the same time
* Trying to keep on the inside line & clearing it at the same time
* If your Jammer coming through the pack, block opposing team & clear her path
* If their Jammer is approaching, block, defend & build walls
* Can connect with your players on offensive attack but not defensive
* It’s your responsibility to mark your opposing Blocker
* Defend your position & do not expect team mates to always handle opposing blockers on their own.
Players positions & role
* Pivots are last line of defence. Good defence & agility
* Should always be behind your Pivot
* B1 is Pivots right hand man
* B2 is the anchor position. Good for New team players
* B1 & B2 work together diagonally, builds walls with B1 & B3
* B2 is responsible to communicate to B1 that Jammer is coming
* B2 tells B1 to build wall.
* If B2 has inside of track B3 is responsible for defending outside
* During Defensive mode B2 should stay in the middle of the track if possible
* Build a cage around your Jammer & skate her through the pack
* B3 is the first line of defence. Good agility for frontal blocking
* Your objective is to protect & assist your Jammer at all times
* Blaze a trail for Jammer, having B3 out in front
* Can also be done in reverse block opposing blocker from attacking your Jammer
* Pivot & B2 try to keep inside line
* B1 & B3 are therefore responsible for outside line. (These positions may swap sides)
* Whip & push your blockers, you may need their help in the front of the pack
* Jammers rarely look behind, once she’s past, skate hard & block from another side
* Jammers preference whether they go into the pack first
* Jammer usually becomes B2 on the next Jam
* Inside line will be defined by the first skater there, it will therefore be different each Jam
* Once the whistle starts the jam, you DO NOT have to retain these positions
* Hold a defensive formation, block their Jammer, defend yours, control the pack
* Optimal Skate path does not always hug inside track
* Optimal knock out position block from inside just before the corner.
Pivot
* A stronger Blocker is a good option for Pivot
* Pace setter
* Good defence
* Generally at the front of the pack
* Good at constantly looking back & keeping on eye on what occurring
* Communicates with B1
* Wants to hold inside line but can swap positions with B1
* Works with B1 in a diagonally relationship for coverage of the front
* Generally doesn’t chase Jammer
Blocker 1
* Communicate together with Pivot
* Works with Pivot in diagonal relationship at the front of the pack
* Should control the front of the pack & be where the Pivot isn’t
* Can chase Jammer past Pivot
* Build walls with B2
Blocker 2
* Anchor of the pack
* Good position for new player
* Communicates with B1
* Responsible for telling B1 that a wall could be made
* Works with her Jammer in diagonal relationship at the front of the pack
* Should control the front of the pack where the Pivot isn’t
Blocker 3
* First line of defence, strong defence & good frontal blocker
* Starts off slower than pack & picks up speed to match Jammer
* Frontal blocking of opposing Jammer
* Short period of blocking
* Communicate to B2 to build wall
* B3 is able to skate & block from side
* Good opportunity to watch Jammer. Has time to evaluate intentions & plan ambush
* Can assist Jammer by skating directly behind her, place hand on small of her back & skate together
*NB she must be able to skate away
* Think about your skating form
* Get lower on corners
* Push with both feet on crossovers
* Use optimal skate path when possible
* Smaller arm swings
* Focus on what your body is doing
* Important to remember to look behind more
* More communicating needed between players
* Protect your jammer from your opposing blockers especially B3
* Diagonal working relationship with team members
* At times you may have to leave your blocking position for walls etc
* Skater behind generally communicates to the skater(s) ahead
* Skater behind is responsible for opposite diagonal position
* Work on Fast Starts
* Work on Blocking
* Remember you have to play Offence & Defence at the same time
* Trying to keep on the inside line & clearing it at the same time
* If your Jammer coming through the pack, block opposing team & clear her path
* If their Jammer is approaching, block, defend & build walls
* Can connect with your players on offensive attack but not defensive
* It’s your responsibility to mark your opposing Blocker
* Defend your position & do not expect team mates to always handle opposing blockers on their own.
Players positions & role
* Pivots are last line of defence. Good defence & agility
* Should always be behind your Pivot
* B1 is Pivots right hand man
* B2 is the anchor position. Good for New team players
* B1 & B2 work together diagonally, builds walls with B1 & B3
* B2 is responsible to communicate to B1 that Jammer is coming
* B2 tells B1 to build wall.
* If B2 has inside of track B3 is responsible for defending outside
* During Defensive mode B2 should stay in the middle of the track if possible
* Build a cage around your Jammer & skate her through the pack
* B3 is the first line of defence. Good agility for frontal blocking
* Your objective is to protect & assist your Jammer at all times
* Blaze a trail for Jammer, having B3 out in front
* Can also be done in reverse block opposing blocker from attacking your Jammer
* Pivot & B2 try to keep inside line
* B1 & B3 are therefore responsible for outside line. (These positions may swap sides)
* Whip & push your blockers, you may need their help in the front of the pack
* Jammers rarely look behind, once she’s past, skate hard & block from another side
* Jammers preference whether they go into the pack first
* Jammer usually becomes B2 on the next Jam
* Inside line will be defined by the first skater there, it will therefore be different each Jam
* Once the whistle starts the jam, you DO NOT have to retain these positions
* Hold a defensive formation, block their Jammer, defend yours, control the pack
* Optimal Skate path does not always hug inside track
* Optimal knock out position block from inside just before the corner.
Pivot
* A stronger Blocker is a good option for Pivot
* Pace setter
* Good defence
* Generally at the front of the pack
* Good at constantly looking back & keeping on eye on what occurring
* Communicates with B1
* Wants to hold inside line but can swap positions with B1
* Works with B1 in a diagonally relationship for coverage of the front
* Generally doesn’t chase Jammer
Blocker 1
* Communicate together with Pivot
* Works with Pivot in diagonal relationship at the front of the pack
* Should control the front of the pack & be where the Pivot isn’t
* Can chase Jammer past Pivot
* Build walls with B2
Blocker 2
* Anchor of the pack
* Good position for new player
* Communicates with B1
* Responsible for telling B1 that a wall could be made
* Works with her Jammer in diagonal relationship at the front of the pack
* Should control the front of the pack where the Pivot isn’t
Blocker 3
* First line of defence, strong defence & good frontal blocker
* Starts off slower than pack & picks up speed to match Jammer
* Frontal blocking of opposing Jammer
* Short period of blocking
* Communicate to B2 to build wall
* B3 is able to skate & block from side
* Good opportunity to watch Jammer. Has time to evaluate intentions & plan ambush
* Can assist Jammer by skating directly behind her, place hand on small of her back & skate together
*NB she must be able to skate away
Labels:
blocking,
communication,
crossovers,
defence,
Derringer,
fast starts,
form,
looking around,
low,
offence,
positions,
roller skating,
walls
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Book review #1 'Roller derby : the history and all-girl revival of the greatest sport on wheels' by Catherine Mabe
This book has everything. It covers Derby's 70-year history and revival in Austin, Texas in 2000, with lots of pics of rad-looking teams, cool skaters and old bout fliers. It explains the rules, more or less, and skater positions and stuff like that, but could use a bit about strategies too. Something for the fans.
"Scores of women are leading double lives. By day, they are librarians, financial analysts, bartenders, teachers, and mothers; by night their athletic alter egos assume their authority with monikers such as Hellen Wheels, Dirty Britches, Anna Mosity, and Assaultin' Pepa. They lace up their skates, slide into racy uniforms, and adorn a full set of protective gear. One of America's greatest sports is back - roller derby."
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Loving your leather
BOOT MAINTENANCE
Four factors generally determining how long boots will last: Skating level, skater size and weight, type of boot and most importantly, maintenance and care of boots. If properly cared for, the life of a boot can be dramatically prolonged to maintain the skate's original comfort and performance. For handcrafted leather boots, it is essential that care be given after every use best preserve the condition of the skate from the time of purchase. Premature breakdown caused by material deterioration is the biggest cause of boot wear. Leather deterioration as a result of chemical and thermal forcers produced by the feet entering and corroding the leather.
Perspiration = Deterioration
When boots are skated on for an extended period of time, they often become wet from perspiration on the inside lining. Composed of 98% moisture and 2% salts and acids, perspiration is a central element in boot corrosion. The foot produces and carries more bacteria that any other part of the body. Bacteria consumes protien, and since leather is 98% protein, it also eats boots. To prevent these different types of deterioration, perspiration should be wiped from the inside and outside of boots after every use.
Save the Leather
It is often necessary to loosen laces on the boots and pull the tongue forward to allow the boots to dry at room temperature. When wet skates are stored in skate bags or lockers, they quickly become victims of mold, mildew and rotting leather. The routine use of leather protectants will help keep leather looking and feeling like new. Riedell recommends using Silicone Protectant to prevent moisture absorption by linings, Sno Seal to keep heels and soles from weakening, and Lexol® to restore and condition leather uppers. After protectants have dried, using Shoe Finish helps bring back the original color and shine of the boot.
Thanks to BOSTON DERBY DAMES
From Riedellroller.com via Conniesskateplace.com
Weaving Las Vegas
Having trouble weaving past the pack?
Learn to be patient, don’t just plow into the pack, and hope that you will find your way through. Skate toward the pack hang at the back weaving back and forth. When an opening presents itself, pick your line and pass through. If you get caught in behind the other teams blockers it can be hard to get free and this will waste a lot of time
Practice your lateral movement this includes being able to do tight crossovers in both directions and little steps. Practice skating around the track doing zigzags back & forth using crossovers and little steps
A good drill is to skate in a pacing line and have the girl in the back weave through the line. She steps (not slalom) in (a step to the left) between the first two girls in the line and then crossovers out. Then she steps in between the next two girls and then crossovers out etc....
Practice starts and stops. A good jammer needs explosive speed. She must be able to go from almost a stop to a full out sprint instantly. This is not just for the start of the jam but as a way to make it through the pack. When an opening presents itself, you have to be able to take it.
Hitting
Try stepping into your hits. As you go to hit a girl, stomp your inside skate to the ground. You will find that you will hit 3 times at hard without even trying. You have to do it in one solid strong motion. At the very second you throw your weight at her, you stomp your inside foot. It sends a shock wave through the opponent.
Work on hip checks. Make contact with your hips first. This is hard to learn but it is efficient. When you strike this way, you send girls flying.
Breathe out when you make a hit. To make sure that you do this, it is helpful to yell or swear when you make contact. If you are breathing out when you hit, you will hit harder.
Practice as much as possible, do Last Woman Standing game, etc.
Learn to be patient, don’t just plow into the pack, and hope that you will find your way through. Skate toward the pack hang at the back weaving back and forth. When an opening presents itself, pick your line and pass through. If you get caught in behind the other teams blockers it can be hard to get free and this will waste a lot of time
Practice your lateral movement this includes being able to do tight crossovers in both directions and little steps. Practice skating around the track doing zigzags back & forth using crossovers and little steps
A good drill is to skate in a pacing line and have the girl in the back weave through the line. She steps (not slalom) in (a step to the left) between the first two girls in the line and then crossovers out. Then she steps in between the next two girls and then crossovers out etc....
Practice starts and stops. A good jammer needs explosive speed. She must be able to go from almost a stop to a full out sprint instantly. This is not just for the start of the jam but as a way to make it through the pack. When an opening presents itself, you have to be able to take it.
Hitting
Try stepping into your hits. As you go to hit a girl, stomp your inside skate to the ground. You will find that you will hit 3 times at hard without even trying. You have to do it in one solid strong motion. At the very second you throw your weight at her, you stomp your inside foot. It sends a shock wave through the opponent.
Work on hip checks. Make contact with your hips first. This is hard to learn but it is efficient. When you strike this way, you send girls flying.
Breathe out when you make a hit. To make sure that you do this, it is helpful to yell or swear when you make contact. If you are breathing out when you hit, you will hit harder.
Practice as much as possible, do Last Woman Standing game, etc.
Balance Lunges
Balance Lunges integrate a variety of key skating and fitness components within a single off-skates exercise.
The balance component builds better tolerance for the narrow Scissors Stance that is the building block to intermediate and advanced skating skills. Good balance allows you to glide longer on one skate as you progress to the lengthened strides that come from skating with a deeper knee bend. Stronger core and thigh muscles enhance both skating technique and endurance. The plyometric aspect of bounding into and out of a deep lunge builds power for short bursts of energy such is sprinting.
A quickly elevated heart rate makes this an excellent way to warm up for any workout, skating or not.
Starting position
Find a non-slippery surface with lots of space all around and stand in the center. For better balance, place hands on hips and fix your gaze on something directly in front of you at floor level throughout the move. I find it helpful to straddle a line (for example, a carpet pattern or pavement paint or seam) and spot my lunge finishing position alongside it.
Front-to-back lunges
Lunge far forward with your right foot. Aim for a distance where your left knee comes close to the floor but your right knee is not ahead of your right ankle (to protect the knee). Your torso remains upright with hands on hips.
Push hard enough against your right foot to return to upright and continue toward the back. Don’t set the foot down or pause in the center on the way.
Lunge deeply back. Aim for a distance where your right knee comes close to the floor but your left knee is not ahead of your right ankle. Your torso remains upright with hands on hips.
Push hard off the back toes and return to upright but don’t set your right foot down & don’t pause on the way to the next forward lunge. Try to make each front-to-back lunge a single, fluid movement.
Repeat a reasonable number of cycles for your level of fitness, then swap and do the same number leading with your left foot.
Four-direction lunges
(With thanks to Outside Magazine’s Body Work department). The addition of side lunges integrates another fitness component known as specificity.
Side lunges directly work the muscles in the side-directed push that defines the best inline stroke technique. This move is similar to the above but you are working around a circle by lunging forward, to the side, to the back, other foot back, other side & other forward.
Use the same beginning stance, spotting & safety guidelines above as you add the side moves like so:
Balancing on the left foot:
Lunge forward with right foot and return to upright, then
Lunge to your right side and return to upright, then
Lunge backward and return to upright.
Set the right foot down.
Now continue going around your circle while balancing on the right foot:
Lunge backward and return to upright, then
Lunge to your left side and return to upright, then
Lunge forward with the left foot and return to upright.
Repeat the circuit. Try to increase number of circuits over time.
There is one more fitness component I didn’t mention at the beginning.
Adaptation occurs when this new activity starts to seem easier—and it will!
That means you are achieving incremental improvements in all the other components, leading to overall better fitness. So don’t despair if it feels too difficult at first.
Just keep at it and you will earn all of the considerable fitness benefits of regularly doing balance lunges.
Thanks to Liz Miller
The balance component builds better tolerance for the narrow Scissors Stance that is the building block to intermediate and advanced skating skills. Good balance allows you to glide longer on one skate as you progress to the lengthened strides that come from skating with a deeper knee bend. Stronger core and thigh muscles enhance both skating technique and endurance. The plyometric aspect of bounding into and out of a deep lunge builds power for short bursts of energy such is sprinting.
A quickly elevated heart rate makes this an excellent way to warm up for any workout, skating or not.
Starting position
Find a non-slippery surface with lots of space all around and stand in the center. For better balance, place hands on hips and fix your gaze on something directly in front of you at floor level throughout the move. I find it helpful to straddle a line (for example, a carpet pattern or pavement paint or seam) and spot my lunge finishing position alongside it.
Front-to-back lunges
Lunge far forward with your right foot. Aim for a distance where your left knee comes close to the floor but your right knee is not ahead of your right ankle (to protect the knee). Your torso remains upright with hands on hips.
Push hard enough against your right foot to return to upright and continue toward the back. Don’t set the foot down or pause in the center on the way.
Lunge deeply back. Aim for a distance where your right knee comes close to the floor but your left knee is not ahead of your right ankle. Your torso remains upright with hands on hips.
Push hard off the back toes and return to upright but don’t set your right foot down & don’t pause on the way to the next forward lunge. Try to make each front-to-back lunge a single, fluid movement.
Repeat a reasonable number of cycles for your level of fitness, then swap and do the same number leading with your left foot.
Four-direction lunges
(With thanks to Outside Magazine’s Body Work department). The addition of side lunges integrates another fitness component known as specificity.
Side lunges directly work the muscles in the side-directed push that defines the best inline stroke technique. This move is similar to the above but you are working around a circle by lunging forward, to the side, to the back, other foot back, other side & other forward.
Use the same beginning stance, spotting & safety guidelines above as you add the side moves like so:
Balancing on the left foot:
Lunge forward with right foot and return to upright, then
Lunge to your right side and return to upright, then
Lunge backward and return to upright.
Set the right foot down.
Now continue going around your circle while balancing on the right foot:
Lunge backward and return to upright, then
Lunge to your left side and return to upright, then
Lunge forward with the left foot and return to upright.
Repeat the circuit. Try to increase number of circuits over time.
There is one more fitness component I didn’t mention at the beginning.
Adaptation occurs when this new activity starts to seem easier—and it will!
That means you are achieving incremental improvements in all the other components, leading to overall better fitness. So don’t despair if it feels too difficult at first.
Just keep at it and you will earn all of the considerable fitness benefits of regularly doing balance lunges.
Thanks to Liz Miller
Not a big girl?
You have a lot of things going for you being smaller.
* Your center of gravity is lower, so get as low as you can, it will be very hard to knock you down.
* You are a smaller target. Take advantage of that. Use your maneuverability to your best advantage by weaving, etc. making yourself a small moving target.
* You can fall and get up quicker than bigger girls. Don't resist the temptation to take a quick fall and get right back into the pack. As a smaller girl, you are closer to the ground and can probably do a quick double knee fall, pop up and sprint and be right back where you were. If you try to avoid falling, it can actually take more effort and take you further out of play. Just take a quick knee and get back into it. Also, it is a major penalty for anyone to hit a player who is "down". This includes a player who has taken a knee. If you feel unsteady, and take a single knee, and ifsomeone makes a mistake and hits you they get a major and are in the box (making it one less person for you to avoid).
* PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT - hit them first. She, who hits first, hits last. I'm sure there is some rule of physics to explain this, but I know that if I see a hit coming my way and do a quick hit first, even if it is barely a hit at all, the other skater's momentum is forced back into their own bodies, instead of into mine, and they bounce right off me. It's not about power at this point, but speed and a quick jam of a shoulder or hip. If you beat the hit and are first, you are much more likely to survive it and take the person's momentum into forward motion rather than falling
* As a jammer don't be afraid to hit the blockers.
* It's not just about avoiding them.
* If you see the makings of a hole, punch it open with a legal hit with your shoulder.
* Turn your body and do a hip check as you cut to the inside. Don't be afraid to hit, it can be your best way to defeat the hits coming your way.
Thanks to: PowerSnatch, New Orleans, Louisiana
* Your center of gravity is lower, so get as low as you can, it will be very hard to knock you down.
* You are a smaller target. Take advantage of that. Use your maneuverability to your best advantage by weaving, etc. making yourself a small moving target.
* You can fall and get up quicker than bigger girls. Don't resist the temptation to take a quick fall and get right back into the pack. As a smaller girl, you are closer to the ground and can probably do a quick double knee fall, pop up and sprint and be right back where you were. If you try to avoid falling, it can actually take more effort and take you further out of play. Just take a quick knee and get back into it. Also, it is a major penalty for anyone to hit a player who is "down". This includes a player who has taken a knee. If you feel unsteady, and take a single knee, and ifsomeone makes a mistake and hits you they get a major and are in the box (making it one less person for you to avoid).
* PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT - hit them first. She, who hits first, hits last. I'm sure there is some rule of physics to explain this, but I know that if I see a hit coming my way and do a quick hit first, even if it is barely a hit at all, the other skater's momentum is forced back into their own bodies, instead of into mine, and they bounce right off me. It's not about power at this point, but speed and a quick jam of a shoulder or hip. If you beat the hit and are first, you are much more likely to survive it and take the person's momentum into forward motion rather than falling
* As a jammer don't be afraid to hit the blockers.
* It's not just about avoiding them.
* If you see the makings of a hole, punch it open with a legal hit with your shoulder.
* Turn your body and do a hip check as you cut to the inside. Don't be afraid to hit, it can be your best way to defeat the hits coming your way.
Thanks to: PowerSnatch, New Orleans, Louisiana
Labels:
avoiding blocks,
fear,
hit first,
knee falls,
PowerSnatch,
small skaters,
targets
Welcome to my blog!
I've started this blog because I am a total nerdburger but! I play roller derby. Just like you! And we all want to know how to play roller derby better and how to make it a funner, safer sport. I want to share all kinds of derby stuff with my team, and/or the world. I hope that you will all use this blog to share your knowledge, your hopes and dreams. Kick that team's collective ass with me, your friendly neighbourhood roller derby librarian.
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